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Assistant Professor of Communication Colter Ray knows how to talk about cancer.

He’s been studying communication with cancer patients for a decade, and last year ran two studies investigating how loved ones “mess up communicating” to young adult cancer patients 18-39 years old.

It’s work that “helps people who need help,” he said.

Cancer affects nearly everyone in some way, he said, but people don’t know how to talk about it or how to say the right thing to patients.

Ray’s research has found that loved ones can be unsupportive, sometimes saying hurtful things, even if well-intentioned, like aggressively directing how a cancer patient should go about treatment. When that happens, communication is damaged, but it’s not beyond repair.

What burns bridges is nonsupport.

Ray first coined “nonsupport” in 2018 to describe when cancer patients’ support systems “ghost” them. Sometimes it’s friends, coworkers or even families who don’t reach out or provide emotional support.

His study in 2023 revealed that nonsupported cancer patients were lonelier, more depressed, and in worse mental and even physical health.

He found that the people who might make up support systems were too afraid to try.

“They feel this obligation to say the exact right thing that somehow fixes this person's life when it's not fixable,” he said.

It’s like a baseball game, he explained. If someone is afraid they won’t hit a home run, they won’t even go up to bat.

“In reality, what you need to do is to get up there, swing the bat and hopefully make contact, maybe get on base, right?

“Even if it's cliche and kind of basic, that alone is usually enough for people to be thankful -- that you tried.”

Ray has contributed to 13 published articles on this subject, and three more are under peer review.

The process and subject matter are emotionally tough for him at times, but Ray credits his own support system for keeping him balanced.

One day, after re-reading widowers’ accounts, he cried “because they were that intense,” he said. He went home, he said, and clung to his wife.

“I just hugged her, and I'm like, ‘we're just gonna be right next to each other the whole night on the couch.’”

Ray said his research makes him more grateful for his own health and supportive relationships among family and friends.

He’ll rely on that support system in his next project: investigating the “loneliness epidemic” in the United States.

“I really know how to pick the cheeriest topic,” he said.

Loneliness affects tens of millions in the United States, he said.

“That'd be twice the population of Texas, all needing therapy,” Ray said.

Though his research focus has changed, the core mission is the same: helping people who need help. He’ll investigate how people have gotten through loneliness and how to help struggling people.